


pray to god this breath will last (we are all too young to die)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [4]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (France), SKAM (Italy), SKAM (Norway), SKAM (Spain), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, F/F, Kinda not, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POST CANON FOR EVERYTHING BUT WTFOCK, POV Even, POV Outsider, Referenced Gay Bashing, all of the Evaks ended up moving to Antwerp, also who knows what the fuck will happen in the next season of spain, and the Evens are bright "edgy" huggable idiots, and we might get an eliott season, happy story despite title, hopefully it makes sense tho, it's a bit complicated, it's gay noah's arc everyone, just in time to bump into our newest trashfire sons, kinda parallel universes, no duh, outsider to Robbe/Sander that is, so it turns out I realized that all of the Isaks are soft angry kids, so just Post Canon for the Evak seasons of the remakes save WTFock, to quote a commenter, wait a moment i just remembered Skam france hasn't technically ended, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: The similarities between Even and all of his friends in Antwerp are clear. Him and Eliott with their bipolar disorders, Joana and Nico with their borderline, even David with his dysphoria.It’s more than just the mental shit, though. It’s the artistic tendencies and the significant others with soft smiles and mothers with mental illness and a billion other small similarities.And, of course, it’s all the parallels between them, the small details and the similarities in how they interact with their significant others. The yellow curtains and the numbers and the repeated phrases “you are not alone” and “minute by minute,” shared between couples across so many countries. The fact that their significant others all have the same number of best friends, with generally the same personalities. The fact that they all look at their significant others the same, with the artists looking at their lovers like the sun rises on their smile and the lovers looking at the artists like they’ve hung the moon.It really lends credence to Isak’s parallel universe theory. Or Lucas’. (Yet another thing some of them have in common.)(All of the Evaks are living in Antwerp. Life is great.)
Relationships: Cristina "Cris" Soto Peña/Joana Bianchi Acosta, Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Even & Eliott & David & Joana & Nico, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Isak & Lucas & Cris & Martino & Matteo, Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck), Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta, Robbe Ijzermans/Sander Driesen
Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550230
Comments: 25
Kudos: 237
Collections: Skam ▶ Even Bech Næsheim / Isak Valtersen





	pray to god this breath will last (we are all too young to die)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [petitepeach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitepeach/gifts).



> Title is from "Between Two Lungs" by Florence + the Machine because I noticed that I have a "breath" pattern developing in these titles and I wanted to continue that kind of poetic shit. (Also, all the Evens would be proud with me being that artistically pretentious.) Also, I mostly listened to that song, "Honeybee," and "Brother" by Needtobreathe ft. Gavin Degraw to write this, if anyone wants recommendations.
> 
> Also, full disclosure, I've seen Skam, Skam France, WTFock, and Druck. I am decidedly less familiar with Skam Spain (I just haven't gotten the chance to watch it yet) and Skam Italia (because I can't find anything more than just fanvids on the internet). I've tried to do as much research and Tumblr-trawling as I can for Skam Spain and Skam Italia to get the characters as accurate as possible, but if something's off then I apologize.
> 
> Also, I've been reading all the fanfics posted in the WTFock tag on Ao3 and damn, all of us have collectively decided that Sander's homeless/had a bad childhood, didn't we? It's nice to share that with everyone while the writers of the show keeping fucking around with us.

_I took your love and I bent all the rules_

_You took the blow and didn't let it show_

_Stuck around to let me know_

_Built a family of our own_

_Look around_

_We made a garden of the love we found_

_So many reasons I would fight to stay_

_You're the courage when I fade_

_Take a look at what we've made_

**_-The Head and the Heart,_ Honeybee**

The similarities between Even and all of his friends in Antwerp are clear. Him and Eliott with their bipolar disorders, Joana and Nico with their borderline, even David with his dysphoria.

It’s more than just the mental shit, though. It’s the artistic tendencies and the significant others with soft smiles and mothers with mental illness and a billion other small similarities.

And, of course, it’s all the parallels between them, the small details and the similarities in how they interact with their significant others. The yellow curtains and the numbers and the repeated phrases “you are not alone” and “minute by minute,” shared between couples across so many countries. The fact that their significant others all have the same number of best friends, with generally the same personalities. The fact that they all look at their significant others the same, with the artists looking at their lovers like the sun rises on their smile and the lovers looking at the artists like they’ve hung the moon.

It really lends credence to Isak’s parallel universe theory. Or Lucas’. (Yet another thing some of them have in common.)

All of them are similar enough for it to be comforting while also being different enough for it not to get uncomfortable or strange. Like, Even’s in love with Isak, and only Isak. He feels no romantic feelings for Lucas or Matteo or Cris or Martino, even though they’re so like Isak.

It’s almost a strange idea, to be honest. Loving one of them. Because even though they’re so clearly similar to Isak, they’re completely different individuals. It’d be like biting into your favorite cookie, a good _krumkake_ , and finding it tasting a bit sour or a bit too sweet or a bit too spicy. It fits the recipe, in a way, but not in a way that you like it.

Either way, Even gets used to having a great variety- or, well, not a variety, or yes a variety, depending on how you look at it- of people filtering through his and Isak’s apartment in Antwerp. Some days he’ll wake up and find Martino or Matteo or even David cooking in their kitchen (but never Eliott or Nico, they’ve all learned that lesson), other afternoons he’ll get home to find Lucas playing piano while Joana and Nico argue over music.

And every time one of the other couples is in their apartment, well, he catches the way they look at each other. The way the other versions of Even immediately soften when they see their Isaks, the way that the other flavors of Isak hold their own Evens in their arms like they’ll never leave, like they’ll support them forever. And it makes his heart ache, sometimes, makes him turn and find Isak and kiss him because here is their proof, their knowledge that their love is right, the happy ending that they've always dreamed of for themselves.

And these people aren’t Isak- they’re not the man of his dreams, his forever home, who accepts and loves him no matter what, who promised _minutt for minutt_ \- but it’s still comfortable and still kind of feels like home. Because these other people- these versions of him, these versions of Isak- still feel pretty right, like familiar puzzle pieces or your favorite drink or walking back into your home after a few weeks away. They feel like they belong.

Which means that it's a certain kind of comfort, a feeling of safety, when Even or one of his others goes through an episode. When Joana or Nico turn self-destructive, when Even or Eliott go manic or depressive.

Because it’s not just their own girlfriend or boyfriend there to help. It’s a community of people who innately understand how to handle the lows, or the destructive highs.

Even David and Matteo, who don’t have this intimate connection with devastating, destructive mental illness, have been incredibly helpful. They have a wide range of knowledge about triggers and making sure not cross boundaries and are quick to learn.

So it’s not just about the good times, here between all them. It’s also about the bad times, about the times when some of them are trapped inside of their own minds and need to be held and talked down. It’s about the times when the others are quiet, in an effort not to disturb those who are suffering, about multiple of them waiting outside of therapy appointments at once, about cooking meals for more than just your partner, about the occasional awkward group cuddle pile that leaves everyone laughing by the end of it.

It's about Lucas handing Isak and his reflections a meal for their Evens when he makes one for Eliott, about Matteo comforting Lucas and Isak about their mothers, about Cris and David being fantastic sounding boards for emotional distress, about Isak and Martino and Matteo getting weed for everyone, about Eliott finding the best kinds of wine to get everyone through the night, about Nico making sure that he has specific music and playlists ready for breakdowns, about Joana helping talk Even, Nico, and Eliott down from the worst moments.

It's about the subconscious straightening of someone's hair, the pat on the back, the hug, the physical contact when your partner isn't there or sometimes when they are, when you feel yourself reaching out to someone you understand how to help and just want to make better.

All in all, Even has to say that he really likes their set-up, and doesn't see how he could ever want to change it. Maybe add to it, if they can find another couple like them, and if not, he's perfectly content to live here in Antwerp, with friends occasionally visiting from Norway, living a life intertwined with these other nine people.

-

Even meets Sander because Eliott meets Sander, and Sander’s not a film guy like Eliott or Even or David but he _is_ a sketcher like David, like Joana, like Nico.

At first, they’re not sure if Sander’s like them, because Sander’s, well- Sander’s a bit different. He has no mental illness, isn’t hiding a big secret from his boyfriend, and though he seems to have a lot in common with Even and his counterparts- the love of music, the artistic sensibilities, the lack of chemistry with the girl he’s dating, the (to quote Isak, who had immediately been agreed with by Cris, Lucas, Matteo, and Martino) "mysterious" smile- he's missing things. Qualities. That big secret, that secret love for a boy.

Or, well, that's what they'd thought.

When he kisses that boy in the courtyard, Even and Eliott are still standing in the hallway. They can see what’s happening through the windows, and they think that maybe this timeline might hold. That these kids will go through what they went through, once, if maybe Sander has a mental illness he’s hiding from them or some other secret that will lead to the _you are not alone_ moment, lead to the _minute by minute_ promise.

Because this- kissing the boy you love while still having a girlfriend hanging over your shoulder after said boyfriend smiles at you like that- that’s an Even thing to do. An Eliott thing. A Nico, Joana, David thing. A reckless thing where falling in love with someone allows you not to be scared, to take a chance and take off running.

It’s such a strange thing to meet one of them who’s still in what they’ve all determined is “the original timeline.” In the time where they’re still in their own city, falling in love, with a million possibilities in front of them. They have no idea what might happen, no idea how to deal with this sense of anticipation and dread because of what might happen between Sander and that boy in the courtyard.

So they hold out, holding their breaths over the next few days, because this might be another one of them, in the city they’ve all come to call home over the past few years.

-

And then Sander shows up with bruises on his face and his head hung and they don’t see that boy again and _oh no_.

Even wants nothing more than to reach out. To pull Sander into a hug. To tell him that things get better, even if he has no idea where those bruises came from _because this hasn’t happened yet_.

(Whatever this is, it terrifies them all. That there’s another one of them, who is for some reason bruised and not speaking and whose boy is gone, and this is like what they called their hell weeks but _this_ seems to be worse than anything any of Even's counterparts ever pulled.)

But Even can’t, because he doesn’t know if interfering in this timeline will somehow ruin Sander’s chances with his Isak. With Sander falling in love. With Sander getting the happy ending that he deserves.

So he bites his tongue and holds out for hope and thanks the Lord when a week later, Sander is smiling again and that boy of his is kissing him in the courtyard and Even can breathe again.

-

And then they meet Sander's boy, Robbe. Or, well, Eliott meets Robbe first, and he comes back to the apartment that day and kisses Lucas and says, “I think Sander’s Lucas is perfect for him.”

“Of course he is,” Joana says with a scoff from her spot on the couch, Cris curled into her side. Cris is tired from her third year of biotech engineering classes- the same classes that Martino and Isak are attending- and she often takes the excuse of exhaustion at the end of the day to get cuddles out of Joana, an excuse that Nico and Even are just as likely to fall victim to from their boyfriends, as well. “How could he not be?”

Even looks around the common room of the art school (a lucky find, suggested by Lucas and Eliott due to a rather salacious story about paint from their own school days that had led a lot of them to whistle in appreciation) and looks at the rest of them. At Eliott, his arms wrapped around Lucas with his head perched on top of Lucas’. At David and Matteo, somehow managing to make ping pong look like flirting. At Nico and Martino, sitting in the corner, heads tucked in close to each others'.

And he thinks about Sander. About Robbe, who he’s sure he’ll meet soon. About how they’ll fit in, another reflection, another flavor, another story. Another one of them, somehow filling this place with such comfort and friendship and understanding.

Isak smiles at Even and leans in next to him, offering his lips up for a kiss that Even is all too willing to return to him. “I can’t wait to meet him," Isak says when they part.

“Too bad that Lucas and I get to have a double date with them first,” Eliott says with a bright grin that has his boyfriend laughing, holding up a hand for high-five, and has the rest of them groaning.

“You met most of _us_ first anyway,” Cris complains. “Not fair.”

Eliott shrugs. “Sander and Robbe agreed to it."

"Because you and Even met him first," David points out, who doesn't go to their art school but rather another one, across the city.

Lucas grins. "Good fortune, I guess."

"Fine," Martino says with a sigh, leaning into Nico's arms, "You just have to agree to tell us about them when you get back."

"Gladly," Lucas says with a wink, and, well, at least there's that. Even has the patience to wait on Robbe and Sander.

-

When Sander and Robbe and Eliott and Lucas have their double date, everyone gathers in Nico and Martino’s apartment- the largest flat among them, somehow- to hear the news about Robbe, about Sander, to learn more about the two of them and how they can possibly fit into the grand picture painted between the ten (now probably twelve) of them.

They’re expecting happiness, excitement, answers. A smile on Lucas and Eliott's faces, a new sense of shared connection, the possibility of forming another comfort between them.

What they’re not expecting is the somewhat frustrated look on Lucas’ face, the almost haunted look on Eliott’s, the way that Lucas's hand is clutching at Eliott's almost as if he's holding on for dear life.

“What the fuck happened?” Matteo asks, the first to speak up.

“It’s Sander,” Eliott says, “Why he got those bruises. Why he was so off for that week.”

“We figured out his Minute,” Lucas says, using the term they’ve all pretty much agreed on to refer to whatever Even and his alters have going wrong in their lives, the thing that they’re hiding from their Isaks, the thing that requires a _minute by minute_ promise to be made. “And it’s not a mental illness. And we also found out what happened to-” Lucas swallows and his anger pulls at his whole face in a way that the Isaks’ faces sometimes do when they’re pissed, but that always shows up so much more on Lucas because of how much of a tiny hedgehog he is (that last bit was Eliott’s description, not Even’s). “What happened to Robbe and Sander. And it’s so much worse than anything that happened to any of us.”

Even doesn’t know where to start with that. What to ask. What to do with the dread pulling at his stomach, almost worse than the moment Isak told him that he didn’t have room in his life for mentally ill people.

Thankfully, though, Martino speaks up, asking the question that Even doesn’t have the clarity to ask: “What happened to them?”

It’s not Sander’s Minute, it’s not his backstory or his secret, but it is Robbe and Sander’s story. The changes to the timeline that explain the surface level changes before getting into the backstory.

Eliott’s arms goes around Lucas’ shoulders as he says, an angry sob bitten between his lips: “He and Robbe- they were beaten up.” And Even’s blood goes ice cold in his veins as he instantly looks to Isak, finding his boyfriend’s hand in his own, because the absolute last thing in the world he could possibly stomach would be him getting hurt. But then, even worse, the hammer falls with Lucas’ next words: “Because they _kissed_ each other.” David and Martino let out small, strangled noises and Lucas is so angry and Even gets it, he does, because nothing like that ever should have happened. Not to Robbe and Sander, not to anyone. “Because they came out of a bar and they were kissing, just like we all did, and they were beaten up in an alley because of it.”

Even knows the fear of coming out. They all do. He knows that though Isak and Martino felt it the worst, Lucas and Matteo and Cris still had their own fears about coming out. They have all experienced insults and slurs and hatred for being who they are.

They all know that Cris and Joana's friend Lucas, back in Spain, was beaten up for being gay. All ten of them- they know violence like this exists. They have a healthy fear of it.

But to know that it happened to one of them? That here, in Antwerp, the hell week wasn't Even getting scared because of a comment by Isak about mental illness and going back to Sonja because of comfort but it was them getting beaten up for daring to fall in love?

Even sees tears gathering on most of the faces in the room, shock and horror on others, watches as they curl into their significant others, and he understands, just as he understands why Isak's hand is tightening around his, understands why his heart is beating so loudly he thinks it might be firing like a gun in his ears.

“And Sander,” Eliott says, taking over without removing his arms from around Lucas’ shoulders, that comforting weight that Eliott so often gives Lucas, the weight that Even hopes he gives Isak. “He moved in with Robbe and his flatmates- Zoe, Senne, and Milan- about a week after that.” 

Lucas nods. “Because his ex-girlfriend kicked him out of her house and he was homeless because he was a foster kid, which he ended up as because his mother was abusive.”

Isak’s hand flinches in Even’s as Even’s own heart jumps into his throat, because as bad as he’d imagined whatever happened to Sander, this is worse. So much worse. Because at least, through the bipolar diagnosis and all of his episodes and everything else, he had his parents. He had a family who supported him. He never had to move in with Isak when they were kids, when Isak was still living with Eskild. Things were never that desperate.

And most Isaks, on the other hand- they lacked a family, for awhile, but they didn't lack an apartment. A roof over their head, filled with good people who cared about them, worry about their fathers and mothers but not about having food the next day.

But Sander? He has no one save Robbe. No one to help him through getting beaten up or working through hell weeks or whatever other shit comes along.

And for that to be on top of getting beaten up last week- no wonder Lucas is angry. No wonder Eliott's eyes are suspiciously bright- not with his usual happy warmth, but with unshed tears. Because these kids- these fucking _kids_ \- are going through far worse than anyone should ever have to go through, all because they fell in love, just like the rest of them did.

"But," Lucas says, starting to regain a bit of his composure, "They're okay, now. They talked about how their flatmates and Robbe's friends are basically like a new family. That they live together in their friend's flat. That they're okay, now."

And Even can take a deep breath of relief, knowing that this Isak and Even- these two kids- they're okay. They're safe. They have a family who supports and understands and loves them. They have a family that will help them through this.

"And we'll be here for them, too," David says, voice quiet but firm, "Whenever they need us."

Around the room there are plenty of nods in agreement, tears being wiped from faces and a couple of reassuring cheek kisses and a general agreement that they're going to support and protect these boys just like they do each other.

-

That night Even falls into Isak's arms and kisses him in a desperate sort of way that he hasn't really in a couple of years, trying to convey gratitude and desperation and a million fierce things in a single motion.

"I'm so lucky to have you," he says, because he is. Because Isak loving him back, promising to stay with him, to work through their issues together- it's the best thing that's ever happened to him. It's been nearly four years and it's still the most beautiful thing that anyone's ever done for Even.

Isak kisses him back, pulling Even close to him as if in comfort, to both of them. "Same for me," he says, voice tender as he kisses Even's nose. "Same for them."

And it's true, isn't it? That every one of their friends has been lucky to find the person they love, the person who completes them, the Even to their Isak, the Isak to their Even.

-

Sander ends up texting Eliott and Even, asking about meeting up with the whole group, and Eliott is all too happy to respond with a wealth of emojis and an _of course_ , inviting them to the karaoke night that the whole group had planned for next Sunday.

When the whole team finds out, they spend a while hashing out what'll be appropriate. Even, personally, is worried less about making a good impression and more about wanting the entire team not going all over-protective on the kids after what they just found out about what happened.

Thank the lord, then, that it seems like the group has the same general idea, with all of them talking about how their number one priority is to make the boys comfortable when they meet them.

For the next week, there's a sense of anticipation among them, an excitement to get to meet this new couple face-to-face. They haven't had a new addition to the group since David and Matteo moved here a year and a half ago, and learning the small differences and idiosyncrasies of Robbe and Sander is going to be quite the interesting journey.

They meet up at the bar that next Sunday, and most of the group is scattered through the bar when Robbe and Sander arrive. Eliott and Lucas are on the dance floor, Martino and Nico are singing some Italian song that Even can mostly understand but doesn't recognize, Matteo and David are tucked away into a corner, and Joana's grabbing beer for her and Cris. Only Isak, Even, and Cris are near the door, and they're the first ones to get a chance to greet them.

"Nice to meet you guys," Isak says to them, just as he's said to every couple to move into Antwerp save Eliott and Lucas, who moved here first. Even can almost hear the unadded addendum, the story that Sander and Robbe will learn in time: _Though we already know so much about you, because you're us, because your story is ours_. "I'm Isak, Even's boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, too," Robbe says with a smile as shiny-bright as any Isak's as he reaches out and shakes the hand that Isak's offering.

Up close and at first glance, Robbe reminds Even most of Lucas, from his face to his hair to his expressions, but there are some hints of the other versions of Isaks in there, too. Isak's bright and hopeful eyes, the stubborn slant to Cris' mouth, Matteo's quiet but firm voice, Martino's curiosity. There's something else, too, something beyond just the combination of other versions of Robbe, that makes Robbe his own person, something personal and almost unidentifiable or understandable by anyone save Sander.

"Glad you could come," Cris says, leaning in and smiling at the two of them, "It's always fun to bring extra people to watch our friends embarrass themselves."

Even snorts. "Excuse you, Isak and I _can_ sing."

Cris rolls her eyes. "I didn't say _you_ , Bech Næsheim. In case you haven't noticed, Lucas and Matteo can't exactly sing, and I love Joana dearly but neither can she, really."

"What was that?" Joana asks, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend as she steps up with two bottles of beer in hand, and Cris leans in and kisses her girlfriend.

"Nothing, mi amor," she says, "Just talking to the newbies."

Joana looks to Robbe and Sander. "Hola, guys. I'm Joana. Cris' girlfriend."

Robbe's eyes light in up recognition and leans in to whisper something into Sander's ear, something that sounds like, "the girls from Spain." Sander nods, and Robbe beams.

Even sits down at the bar a step behind them and smiles as he watches Cris, Joana, and Isak briefly explain everyone in the bar in their group to Robbe and Sander, naming names and countries and a couple of non-private details about everyone, like the fact that Nico and Eliott can't cook or that David and Joana are also artists or that Matteo can cook a mean pasta dish.

Then they point out the karaoke, and Sander's face lights up. "They have any David Bowie?"

"I'm sure they do," Cris says as Robbe smiles at Sander, and Even has the feeling that Sander might have introduced a new favorite artist to Robbe just like most of Even's alters did.

"You wanna sing Under Pressure?" Robbe offers, "I'll sing it with you."

And here is a point that didn't show up in everyone's timelines, but was there in Even and Isak's. The karaoke duet in front of friends, singing a song that Even picked and that Isak was all too happy to join in on.

Robbe hugs Sander from behind, draping his head over Sander's shoulder in a rather clingy sort of way, like Matteo with David, like Eliott with Lucas, and it reminds Even that there are always small differences and similarities between all of them. That he can find Isak, perfect for him, and they can find the loves of their lives, too.

"I wonder if they're gonna get nervous and all of us are gonna end up singing along with them," Isak says, sitting on the bar stool next to Even as Sander laughs and pulls Robbe over to meet the others, and Even takes the opportunity to leans over and give Isak a kiss on the cheek.

"One can only hope so," Even says with a smile, thinking about Isak's friends back home, about Jonas and Mahdi and even Magnus, the lovable idiot. They haven't visited Antwerp in almost six months, and Even misses them, a bit, though not as much as Isak does. Even sure hopes that they can visit soon.

Martino and Nico step down from the stage and Robbe and Sander step up and begin to sing. Neither of their voices are masterpieces, but Even can't help but smile anyway, because they're happy and they're having fun.

Things start to go a bit awry, though, when Eliott and Lucas step up to Isak and Even not even a minute into the song.

"We're gonna need to duck out," Lucas says with a bit of smile. "Eliott's not having the best day in the world."

Even recognizes the hint of mania in Eliott's eyes and is so thankful that Eliott's recognized the oncoming signs and is taking steps to take care of himself. It took Eliott as long as it took Even to start to take care of himself, to accept Lucas or Isak's help.

"Take care of yourself, Eliott," Isak says, nodding at Lucas, and Eliott smiles.

"Have fun tonight, guys," he says, and then he and Lucas head out, hand in hand.

A few minutes later, once _Under Pressure_ is over (and yes, multiple of the group ended up singing along), Robbe and Sander step down from the stage and head back over to the bar where Isak and Even are still sitting. There's a bit of confusion wrinkling Sander's brow. "Where'd Eliott and Lucas go?" Sander asks, concern in his voice.

"Eliott's bipolar," Even explains, because Eliott's not usually one to talk about his illness with just anyone- none of Even's counterparts are- but this Sander, who _is_ Even's counterpart, and Even knows he's made the right choice when Robbe and Sander's faces go pinched in sympathy, not pity. "Tonight just wasn't that good for him."

"I hope he feels better," Robbe says, and Even has to wonder if his mother's currently in a psychiatric institution like Isak's was, back when they were together.

"He's got Lucas," Isak says with a small smile as he glances to Even, "Just like Even's got me."

Robbe's brow furrows. "Just like Even has you?" he asks, and Even nods.

"I'm bipolar, too."

"And I have borderline personality disorder," Joana says, like she only ever said to Cris and the other Evens and Isaks, when they were all explaining and understanding their places together. "Cris helps me through that."

"And Marti helps me through mine," Nico says, sidling up to the group. Martino's talking to David, Cris, and Matteo in the corner (about what, Even wouldn't even be able to begin to guess).

"That's a lot of mental illness in one friend group," Sander says, tone not judging at all but rather curious.

"There's a lot of similarities in this friend group," Joana says, a humor lilting her voice, as if telling an in-joke- which she is, in all honesty.

"For example," Isak says, testing the waters, "My mother has schizophrenia. So does Lucas'."

"So does mine," Robbe says with a certain note of surprise in his voice, open in a way that Even's nearly certain he isn't with anyone save Sander and maybe that "flat family" that Eliott and Lucas mentioned awhile ago.

"What a coincidence," Nico says, and Even's certain that more coincidences will be discovered, just like there are more coincidences _to_ discover. _You are not alones_ and parallel universes and ex-girlfriends and moms in hospitals and Eskilds and Jonases and Sanas and whoever and whatever else comes along. There will be differences in how they show up, but show up they will.

"Why do I have the feeling that there are going to be a lot of those?" Sander asks, gaze scanning the room, and Even wonders just what exactly the boy's thinking, what he's figured out, what further things they might hold in common.

Even can't control his grin as he shrugs. "No idea," he says, voice light and teasing as he knows that soon enough the boys will find out about everything that's going on, and Isak rolls his eyes and sets down his drink.

"If you guys don't mind," Isak says, taking Even's hand, "My boyfriend and I are going to go dancing." 

Robbe smiles. "Have fun," he offers, though there's something pulling at his voice, almost as if he's figuring something out.

A certain something that Joana manages to address when, before Isak's even gotten a chance to drag Even out onto the dance floor, she asks: "What do you guys think about parallel universes?" 

Even and Isak pause, just a little, turning to look as Sander and Robbe's eyes go wide and they glance at each other. "I've got a theory about that," Robbe says.

"And about yellow curtains," Sander says with a small, fond smile to Robbe, and Even nearly lets out a _whoop_ because so much is different with these boys but that line- that comment- that's his and Isak's, so specific and personal that Robbe and Sander can't be anything but another version of them.

"Bingo," Isak whispers into Even's ear, smile wide, and Even can't help but return the grin because they've found themselves here, in Belgium, yet another reflection of the story they know all to love, two more people to love and understand and support. Another section of this strange little family.

And he can't wait to see what happens next.

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you all like it? Did it make sense? I sure hope it did because it took a lot of work to put all of this together and I really enjoyed it and I hope you all did too.


End file.
